


Gaybysitting Duty

by incorrectbatfam



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:53:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incorrectbatfam/pseuds/incorrectbatfam
Summary: Tim and Conner bring Damian and Jon to their first Pride festival.
Relationships: Jonathan Kent & Kon-El | Conner Kent, Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 7
Kudos: 402





	Gaybysitting Duty

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this partly because I wanted to and partly to answer this ask on Tumblr: 
> 
> https://incorrectbatfam.tumblr.com/post/620393506506178560/happy-pride-my-rainbow-sister-i-havent-come

“…One-thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine…and two thousand. There you go, Damian. That should be enough for you and Jon to split.”

Bruce doled out the cash to his youngest son—far more than any child should have access to, but Damian wasn’t known to be a big spender other than when he spoiled his pets. While he was indifferent, his date, Jon, marveled at the stack of money, wide-eyed as if it was a casino jackpot.

Bruce turned to his other son, Tim, handing the teen another two-grand wad. 

“And that’s for you and Kon,” the man said. 

Standing beside Bruce, wearing a matching  _ “Free Dad Hugs” _ t-shirt, Clark facepalmed. “Seriously? That’s a thousand dollars for each of them.”

“Is that not enough?” Bruce asked. 

“I dunno, Mr. Wayne,” Kon interjected. “I’ve been meaning to replace this old thing for a while now.” He gestured to the washed-out pansexual flag cape on his back. “Maybe a few hundred extra, just in case?”

Clark shot Kon a stern look. The latter closed his mouth.

“Can I get one too?” Jon asked. “Then we can be the Kryptoni-pans. Dami, you and Tim can be the Bat-Bis. Or better yet: Ro _ bi _ ns. Get it? Because ‘Robin’ had bi in it. Actually, so does the word ‘bird’…”

“I already regret this,” Damian muttered, checking his digital watch as Jon continued rambling.

“Remember,” Clark turned to the two teenagers, “Damian and Jon are your responsibility. Make sure the four of you stick together.”

Bruce added, “Alfred already packed snacks in your bag, and I know it’s plenty because he ran out of food coloring this morning. If you need us, we’ll be by the entrance.”

“Got it,” Tim said. “Have fun giving out dad hugs and try not to adopt too many kids this time; I have more than enough siblings.”

“No promises,” Bruce chuckled.

As soon as the men were out of sight, Kon turned to Tim and complained, “How come we got stuck with babysitting? Isn’t this usually Dick’s territory?”

“Dick’s headlining the parade, remember?” Tim said. 

“Well, what about Jason?”

“Sleeping in. He and Roy have night patrols.”

“I thought that was Duke?”

“No, he’s doing daytime.”

Kon grumbled something under his breath, kicking a pebble aside.

Tim took his boyfriend’s hand. “Babe, I’d rather run through Arkham Asylum barefooted than babysit Damian. But this is their first Pride, so let’s at least make an effort.”

“I guess,” Kon said. “We can start with the flag capes. You wanted a pan one, right, Jon?”

There was no answer. 

Kon glanced behind him. “Jon?”

When nobody replied again, he checked under his cape. “Jon?!?”

Panic set in as he asked, “Where are Damian and Jon?”

“You mean where’s Jon,” Tim said. “Damian’s right h— _ crap _ .”

The batboy’s eyes widened when all he saw was an empty space beside him. 

“We’re dead. We’re so dead,” said Tim. “B’s gonna break his ‘no killing’ rule for us.”

“Hey,” Kon said. “We just gotta find them before Clark and Bruce figure out. And you’re a better detective than your dad.”

Tim’s cheeks reddened a little. “You really think so?”

“I know so,” the Kryptonian said, throwing his arm around Tim. 

The latter opened his phone. 

“Bruce and Clark are busy giving out hugs so they won’t notice for a while. I say we have two hours, tops, before they call to check in,” he said. “I’d trace Damian’s phone, but the kid broke it on a mission last night.”

“Well that’s stupid,” Kon scoffed.

“Hey, only I can call my brother stupid,” Tim fired back. “Now, what’s Jon’s number? I can track his phone since they’re probably together anyway.”

“Lois took his phone ‘cause he tried to do chores with powers again.”

Tim sighed as he looked out at the waves of brightly dressed festival-goers. 

“Looks like we’re doing things the old fashioned way.”

– 

“Just so you know, I find gatherings like this to be an obnoxious, capitalist-driven waste of time,” Damian said. 

“I know,” Jon replied, hand-in-hand with his date as he happily bounded along the cobblestone path.

“I do not need random businesses telling me how to show pride,” the older boy added.

“I know.”

“Then why are we still here?”

“Because.”

“Because what, Kent?”

Jon stopped and squeezed Damian’s hand.

“Because you don’t have to like every single thing about something to enjoy it,” he said. “Come ooon, it’s our first Pride. If we lived in our parents’ time it wouldn’t even exist.”

“Fine,” Damian said. “At least we got rid of Drake and his partner.”

Jon placed a kiss on the older boy’s cheek. “That’s the spirit!”

–

“I don’t mean to bother, but have you seen a boy about yea tall, black hair, tiny wholesome ball of sunshine?”

“Excuse me, have you seen a short gremlin with a permanent murder scowl?”

Everyone Tim and Kon asked simply shrugged and replied, “No, sorry.” 

When the teens rendezvoused back where they started, they were both equally out of breath from running all over the place. Tim brushed the confetti out of his hair from when he searched the parade—Nightwing dumping an entire bucket on him did not help in the slightest.

“Any luck?” he asked.

“No.” Kon shook his head. “I wish I brought my costume. I could get a much better view if I could fly. Did you ask your brother?”

“Yeah. Signal says he’ll keep an eye out but no promises.”

Kon ran his fingers through his hair. Tim grabbed his hand.

“Don’t worry, we’ll find them,” he said.

“But how? This place is huge and Jon’s tiny. What if he gets trampled?”

“Kon, he’s half-Kryptonian and fights criminals every night,” Tim said. “Both he and Damian will be fine.”

Tim spotted a familiar flash of blue hair and a pair of matching denim jackets in the crowd and quickly followed. 

“Harper! Cullen!” he called. “Hey, guys!”

The brother-sister duo stopped in their tracks. Harper pressed pause on the oversized boombox on her shoulder that was blasting queer punk songs.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Have you guys seen Damian and Jon?” Tim asked. “Kon and I were watching them and they disappeared.”

“Damian…” Harper said. “Which one is that again?”

Tim made a motion as if to indicate his brother’s height compared to himself. “Fifth Robin. This high. Funny hair. Ankle-biter.”

Cullen grimaced and subconsciously rubbed his lower leg, muttering quietly, “I still have a mark.”

“Sorry dude, but no,” the girl said, patting Tim’s back. “If it makes you feel better, I’ll be in the front row of your funeral.”

Tim groaned, burying his head in his hands. “Guess it was only a matter of time before I joined the Dead Robins Club.”

–

“You sure you don’t want a bite?” Jon asked, waving the strawberry ice cream cone in front of Damian. 

“I’m sure,” the other boy replied, scowling. 

They had found a marble bench by the rainbow-decorated rowboats, just across the pond from where a group of parents were giving free hugs. The kids originally wanted to rent a boat and go out onto the water, but the lady running it turned them away for being too young. 

“You  _ sure _ sure?” the Kryptonian asked. “Not even a little taste?”

“Tt, if you insist.”

Damian cupped Jon’s face in both hands, leaned forward, and pressed their lips together before promptly pulling apart. The Robin glanced at the grass, trying to hide the not-blush creeping up on his face from what _totally_ wasn’t their first kiss.

–

“Are you sure there’s nothing else we can try?” Kon asked.

“You can fly back to Metropolis to grab your costume,” Tim suggested facetiously, grabbing Kon by the crook of his elbow before the Super could actually fly off.

“Wait a second…” 

Tim rolled up Kon’s sleeve to reveal a plain black wristwatch. The bat-teen slapped his forehead.

“How could I forget?” he exclaimed. “Damian’s wearing a smartwatch!”

Kon watched as Tim scrolled through his phone, past the many retro-style games and news articles about Oracle exposing homophobes online. Tim opened the location tracking app.

“You think you can find them?” the Kryptonian asked.

Tim typed something and the phone returned with a tiny  _ ping _ .

“Does that answer your question?” he asked. “They’re on the move. We can meet them in the middle.”

Kon lifted his boyfriend in a bone-crushing hug, beaming from ear to ear. “You’re the best, Timbo! I told you, World’s Greatest Detective.”

“Please put me down, you’re suffocating me,” Tim wheezed. “But I love you too.”

Once Kon set him down, Tim said, “Come on, Bruce is gonna call any minute now.”

–

“Dami, check it out!”

Jon twirled around, a brand new flag cape billowing behind him. It was a bit too big on him, trailing several inches on the ground behind him. But he was content.

Damian tucked his wallet away as he watched as his date spun round and round like a blue, yellow, and pink spinning top.

“Careful,” Damian said. “Don’t trip on it like the clone did this morning.”

“Don’t worry, Dami. Look!”

Jon’s sneaker snagged on the long fabric and he stumbled forward. Almost as if on instinct, Damian stepped forward and caught the younger boy in his arms.

“Tt, I told you so.”

As Damian lifted the bottom of the cape for Jon to brush off the flecks of grass and dirt, two voices caught their attention. Before either could register, a larger body practically tackled the Kryptonian in a hug. And before Damian could reach for his hidden knife, another pair of arms squeezed him from the side in an attempt at a hug.

“Jon! Oh thank god, you’re okay. Timmy and I were so worried.” Kon sighed in relief. “You shouldn’t have wandered off. Don’t go scaring us like that again.”

At the same time, Tim exclaimed exasperatedly, “You little demon! You’re  _ so _ lucky I’m not Jason or Cass. I swear, when we get home–”

“You can’t threaten the blood son. Now unhand me before I put your head on a stick, Drake!” Damian demanded, squirming until his brother let him go.

“We’re sorry,” Jon said, looking up at the teens with big eyes.

“Speak for yourself, Kent,” Damian grumbled, smoothing his clothes out.

“It’s okay. What matters is you’re safe,” Kon said.

Tim opened his mouth to add something but was cut off by his phone ringing. He quickly composed himself before answering, putting it on speaker.

“Hey Bruce,” he said.

On the other side, Bruce spoke. “How’s everything going?”

“Everything’s just fine.”

“That’s good, that’s good,” the man hummed.

There was an awkward beat of silence before Tim asked, “Anything else?”

Bruce replied, “You’re grounded.”

Clark added, “Kon, you’re grounded too.”

The two teens groaned in unison. 

“Yeah, we figured”


End file.
